It didn't take long for the bitter Canadian weatherbeast to track me down like the helpless bunny that I've become. They say California makes you soft (especially around the middle), and I am totally prepared for the snow in the forecast thanks to my layers of protective blubber.
Unlike most idiots, I am not making the hypermetropic mistake of worrying about cholesterol killing me in 50 years, while ignoring the near-term threat of ice ages. I need to carb up before Al Gore Global Warming shuts down the Atlantic current and strands us all in frozen-over hell-a.
I've done some research, and realized that the US government is in fact on the right track to save us all from the impending catastrophe. How, you ask? Well, when the time comes, our military might will be redirected towards bombing the earth back into working order, as evidenced in the classic educational film, The Core.
Word of the Day: hypermetropic
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1 comment:
i'm in tears because it's supposed to snow tomorrow for the first time. and it's JANUARY. and this is canada. but STILL.
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