Hot as Hell

On Thursday night I went to Lucha Vavoom, a crazy spectacle of Mexican wrestling, comedy, and burlesque dance. It was great fun and the kind of over-the-top fun and zaniness that I like to have.

Some of the pictures are online and can be found here

On a quasi-related note, I was coming home from work yesterday and was in the elevator with this sweet old lady. "Hot out there!" I tell her. "Yes! Oh! It's as if God has opened the door to hell just a little to show us how it is." she responded in a german-sounding accent. I was taken aback, but tried to be polite. "Well, this would be the place for that to happen." We walked some more and she introduced herself and I told her my name. I just had to ask where she's from because I thought she was Austrian, like Dr. Ruth or something (there was a strong resemblance). "Baghdad," she says, "but I have been here for a long time."

An Omen

This morning I took my car to get serviced. I had about an hour to kill so I decided to take a walk, find a nice cafe someplace, have a coffee and a pastry or something for breakfast. I walked and walked through the wasteland known otherwise as Glendale until I finally found a little mexican bakery. Looked a little grungy but I figured what the hell, it was the only place I'd come across in 30 mins. I poured myself some coffee and when I tried to add sugar, the big metal lid from the container falls off and straight into my cup, splashing me with hot coffee. At this point I wished I could crawl back into bed and start the day again.

After cleaning myself up some, I grabbed a croissant, paid and thanked the owner lady who was actually pretty nice to me post-accident. Actually, I was kind of pissed at this shitty little place with its insecure lids. In any case, I headed out the door and started walking with my coffee and croissant bag in hand.

I walked and I walked in search of a place to sit down and enjoy my breakfast. Any bench or table or anything would have been great. No dice. I turned onto Chevy Chase blvd. hoping to find a park or something. Finally, I could see some green stuff coming up and my hopes were raised thinking it might actually be a park coming up. When I arrived I saw it was just a landscaped apartment building called "Central Park". It felt like an omen straight out of The Alchemist.

I've finished Kafka on the Shore. It's kind of lame how long it takes me to get through a book, but I just have to savor every word and let it absorb through my skin, right down into the depths of me.

One more excerpt from the end:

"Time weighs down on you like an old, ambiguous dream. You keep on moving, trying to slip through it. But even if you go to the ends of the earth, you won't be able to escape it. Still, you have to go there -- to the edge of the world. There's something you can't do unless you get there."

Now it's onto Freakonomics. It's time for some.

Visitor

On the plane ride down (up?) to Canada, I kept my nose buried in Murakami's Kafka on the Shore. I've been reading and not reading this book for a while and really need to finish it both because I have a pile of others waiting and because it's terrific. Anyway, I was so into the book that I didn't notice we were landing and as the plane was touching down -- at the exact moment -- I was reading the part of the story where the words to the song Kafka on the Shore are revealed:

You sit at the edge of the world,
I am in a crater that's no more.
Words without letters
Standing in the shadow of the door.

The moon shines down on a sleeping lizard,
Little fish rain down from the sky.
Outside the window there are soldiers,
steeling themselves to die.

(Refrain)

Kafka sits in a chair by the shore,
Thinking of the pendulum that moves the world, it seems.
When your heart is closed,
The shadow of the unmoving Sphinx,
Becomes a knife that pierces your dreams.

The drowning girl's fingers
Search for the entrance stone, and more.
Lifting the hem of her azure dress,
She gazes--
at Kafka on the shore.

On the flight back and also as the plane landed, I read these words:

"The entrance opened up, thanks to you."
"You know something, Gramps? I mean, Mr. Nakata?"
"What is it?"
Faceup, eyes still shut, Hoshino took another long, deep breath and exhaled. "It better have opened up. Otherwise I killed myself for nothing."

Going home for a visit. Something about that sounds backwards. Home shouldn't be a place you visit. Everywhere else should be the place you visit and home should be home. I'll post some pictures of food and fun when I return!

Gonna Get My Chili On, Homie

No, I'm not making chili. When I was at work this week, one of the touchup artists (a guy who looks like he could either be an ultimate fighting champion or at least be the #1 fan of the sport) was heating up canned chili in the kitchen and said those words to me completely seriously. I retreated to my cube and proceeded to laugh for 4 days.

I've been keeping busy and having a terrific time. I suspect that I even had a celebutante sighting the other day. It *might* have been Paris. I noticed someone in their car sticking out among the other, more ordinary looking drivers in Hollywood. I wasn't sure who it might be but the next day on tmz.com they had a photo of Hilton driving and it looked exactly like the person I spotted. But everyone here wears sunglasses at all times in order to confuse you about whether they're famous or not. Is it possible that the overuse of sunglasses is what caused L.A.'s culture of detachment? Isn't it pretty important to see someone's eyes when you are talking to them, or even walking by? What are they looking at? I must know!

How are things with you, blog reader?

I took my time making this salad. Cooking is like kissing, I think. It's best when you're not in a rush.

Lazy Sunday

So Cinco de Mayo didn't end up being the wild party I was hoping for, but nevertheless I was determined to make my Sunday count. At around noon, after eating part of a banana and packing up my essential supplies (Kafka on the Shore, sunscreen, hat), I got in the car and started driving in the general direction of the ocean.

As usual, it was a beautiful day. I was actually thinking to myself "L.A., I really don't appreciate you enough". I ended up at Point Dume state beach, which is just east of Zuma and is one of the few public beaches I hadn't visited yet. It is smaller than Zuma, and felt like it had more older couples. But that might have just been my imagination since this was my first solo beach outing and my eyes were more... busy.

The warm breeze sounded like a flickering flame as I savored the tranquility of it all. I got into my book for a while and then set it down in the interest of just lying there and spacing out. At around this time I did some deep breathing and was totally in nirvana. This is why I'm not crazy about massages. I can pretty easily reach that level of relaxation if I just clear my mind and focus on breathing. I guess it's a holdover from yoga classes. But seriously, take 10 minutes to lie on your bed and do 20 deep in/exhales very very slowly.

I just had to dip my feet in the water. It was really, really cold. That's the thing about the ocean here, it never quite gets warm enough but it sure looks inviting most of the time.

At around 4 I got into the car and started heading for home. I was cruising down the PCH at a liesurely pace and just appreciating the ocean and mountains in my rear view mirror. A motorcycle club/gang of about 100 caught up and were passing me. I remember how rare it was in Toronto to see even one motorcycle, and here there are numerous motorcycle subcultures that you can spot. This "gang" was comprised of scary looking black guys. Many of them fat and some of them with waifishly thin ladies strapped to their backs like knapsacks.

When I got home I fixed an acceptable pizza out of frozen crust, crappy Prego sauce, and some mozzarella. I have this huge brick of moz' which came from Costco and I am trying to work through it at a medium pace. I also had a glass of red wine with the 'za, which was nice but added to the overwhelming sleepiness that hit me at 7:00pm. I was determined not to give in and stayed awake until 10 watching Rocky Balboa.

Stallone is a moron, but if I just look at the core idea of the story, I can relate to it. I think I'll always feel like an old man because of how much I look back and try to process what I've done with my life thus far.

There is a bitterness to adulthood that I can't quite express. Something that lurks in all of us as we proceed through the same hoops. Part of it is captured in the movie The Last Kiss (old or new version). Does anyone not feel a sense of resignation about the whole game of life? Make money, pair up, reproduce, have a few laughs, die. Sometimes it seems depressing, but on Sunday I felt like I was winning.

It Ain't Kosher But...

Goddamn is it tasty! Tonight's salad pulled together various related flavors such as a peppercorn asiago dressing, a peppery cheese of some sort, and some spicy chicken andouille sausage. It was also topped off with some chopped onion and garlic almonds.

Sorry I didn't make enough to share! Get your own salad.

Joshi Detox: Day 21

Well, that's it! 3 weeks of detoxy goodness. I didn't stick to it 100%, nor did I get as much excercise as I should have. But it was still a success in my mind because I'm not eating whole meals that contain nothing but starch and meat anymore.

So overall, I would definitely recommend giving this program a try, especially if you're like me and tend to not eat enough veggies. Most of the book is useless in my eyes because it's a lot of filler, talking about different types of bottled water and so on. As I've mentioned before, I think most of the detox supplements are superfluous at best, and actively harmful at worst. I would highly recommend doing research and consulting a doctor prior to taking anything other than a multivitamin.

There are other aspects of the detox cult that I have never bothered to discuss. One of these is the colon cleanse, which you're supposed to do every so often. Not interested, thanks. If I want to cleanse my bowels I'll do it the natural way, by watching Oprah talk about The Secret for 5 minutes.

I've lost an average of 2 pounds a week, which is a pretty healthy rate. I expect to keep it up until I hit about 170.

So that's it, if you've been reading along as I did this program, many thanks for keeping up. We will now return to our regularly scheduled program of whining about my personal life and pictures of delicious food.

End Weight: 179 lbs
Composition: Leafy Green

Joshi Detox: Day 20

As you can see, I've been keeping a little too busy to bother with the updates now that I'm in the home stretch. I haven't been sticking to Joshi 100%, but by now it's become more of a lifestyle change. I have less of an apetite, and I naturally balance out a "bad" meal with a healthy salad meal or even a whole day of healthy eats.

In a sense, the diet has become irrelevant. I'm not planning on making any drastic changes once day 21 is over. I'm still going to restrict the intake of things like bread, pasta, etc. to a maximum of twice a week.

Slow and steady weight loss is the name of the game. Still running late on increasing my excercise though.

Joshi Detox: Day 14

Before leaving for Las Vegas, I watched the movie Leaving Las Vegas. Not exactly the happiest pre-trip movie, but it captures something that's on my mind. The urges to create and to destroy are in us all. It's impossible to tell which will win out at any given time.

I had a salad for dinner. Urge to destroy.

Song of the Day:
Depeche Mode - Precious

Joshi Detox: Day 13

Coming up on the 2/3 mark. My weight loss has definitely slowed down, and I can see that I'm not going to meet my goals in a mere 3 weeks. I'm stuck at around 181lbs. The addition of rice and rice cakes to my diet seems to have ground the weight loss to a halt. Need to cut back on that stuff. I don't mind a slowdown because hopefully this will have altered my lifestyle in a more permanent and sustainable way. But I feel like Iverson, there's all this pressure to put up the big numbers on the board. That's right, I made a moderate effort at a sports reference. Cue the end of the world.

Last night I ate this. I'm not sure if it constitutes a salad, but it was certainly filling and other than the peanuts, low in fat. Today I'm salad'ing it up in an effort to make up for past foodular indiscretions.

I need to make some vegetable soup this weekend. But before I do, I have a little matter of a Vegas trip in between. I won't be blogging from there, and I'm pretty sure I won't be taking pictures of my food, either. It'd be a little weird, you understand.

Today's food plan:

Skipped breakfast - bad boy

Salad lunch

Salad with Grilled Chicken for dinner

Water and Green Tea to drink.

Things I miss:
Melty Cheese Nachos

Song of the day:
The Strokes - 12-51

Joshi Detox: Day 12

I am incredibly sore from the hike. I haven't been this sore since the first time I did power yoga. It was a fantastic workout, not because it was 3 hours of walking mostly uphill, but also because Travis set the pace, and the guy is in terrific shape. He who rides a bike to San Diego for fun is definitely someone you want setting the pace for a hike.

Tonight I'm going to eat an ugly but protein-filled dinner. I feel like my body demands it. Between the hiking and the constant pull-ups, I think I'm actually gaining some muscle mass. The weight numbers probably aren't looking as good as expected. Once I recover from Saturday, I will start using the skipping rope and enroll in a yoga class nearby. Between this and that lies Vegas.

Today's food plan:

Plain Yogurt with Honey and Banana for breakfast

Salad lunch

Chicken and beans for dinner

Water and Green Tea to drink.

Things I miss:
Pad Thai

Song of the day:
The Shins - Caring is Creepy

Joshi Detox: Day 11

I missed a day of posting. For shame! Anyway, this weekend marks the halfway point in the diet, and also my first (hopefully only) instance of faltering. On Friday night I wasn't hungry so I skipped dinner, and ended up going to a couple of bars. I had two gin and tonics which was all I could do to minimize the damage. I made up for it yesterday by going on a nice long hike and then eating a small healthy stir fry for dinner.

Today I'm supposed to have the detox cocktail. Not sure if I will or not, depends on if I'm in the mood.

Here is a picture from the hike: (click through for more)

Today's food plan:
Hummus on rice cakes with carrot sticks for brunch.
Stir fry leftovers and a salad for dinner.
Water and Green Tea to drink.

Things I miss:
Fresh Bread

Song of the day:
Meiko Kaji - Urami Bushi

Joshi Detox: Day 9

The pullup bar is great! It's a bar, and you, you pull -- yourself -- up.

Lunchtime continues to be a challenge, my coworkers mostly enjoy eating fast food and burgers, and I have to try to steer them towards places I know have at least some kind of salad. Dating will also be tricky, since I have to avoid alcohol, caffeene, and most good food. Thank God for sushi.

Last night's dinner was tasty. I think the most noteworthy part is the portion control. It used to be that my plate would be loaded with meat and a huge amount of rice. Now the proportions have clearly shrunk. It's not because the diet forbids it, but just that I can't imagine eating more than that. Fantastic change that I hope will remain long after the 21 days.

At the end of 21 Joshi days, I am going to reward myself with a new pair of fancy jeans.

Today's food plan:
Small serving of cereal with rice milk for breakfast
Salad for lunch.
Veggie stir fry with leftover rice for dinner.
Water and Green Tea to drink.

Things I miss:
Mango

Song of the day:
Amy Winehouse - You Know I'm No Good (happy now?!)

Joshi Detox: Day 8

Yesterday things got a little turned around. I planned to have salad lunch but went out with the co-workers. They decided to go to Johnny Rocket's, which is one of a small handful of places that I can't find anything to eat at whatsoever. So I went around the corner to the mall food court and picked up some shitty chicken teryaki, and had to refuse rice and noodles and get all veggie. So to balance out that "junk" food, I had a nice salad for dinner, along with loads of carrot and celery sticks and some chamomile tea.

Yesterday's breakfast was sort of tasty. I sauteed some spinache and then scrambled it up with some eggs and rice milk. Rice milk has a sweet flavour and helped balance out the bitterness of the spinach. It tasted almost nutty. This photo also shows a bad habit I've formed: eating while doing other things. I almost never sit at the table and eat. I'm always either eating while using the computer or eating while watching tv.

The chapter about week 2 in the Joshi book is pure filler. Seriously, it doesn't mention anything new whatsoever. Just reiterates that you should be excercising 3 times a week at least. This is the main thing I'm not following as I should. But I did install the pullup bar last night. The installation counts as a workout in and of itself because it was effin' hard to drive in the wood screws by hand. Surely with proper tools this would be a breeze, but what can ya do?

Tonight I'm going to do up a nice dinner: grilled chicken breast with brown rice and asparagus.

As an aside, I have received complaints about my song choices. A certain someone, let's call him Wal, has claimed that I have been listening to the same songs for 5 years and am in dire need of new cds. First off, he's right. Secondly, these songs are probably the worst offenders because I've mostly been listening to the musical equivalent of comfort food for the last couple of weeks, so my cornyness should and will be forgiven. Today's song is off an album that ain't even out yet, so there.

Today's food plan:
Giant banana for breakfast.
Salad for lunch.
Grilled chicken breast with brown rice and asparagus for dinner.
Water and Green Tea to drink.

Things I miss:
Orzo

Song of the day:
Feist - I Feel It All

Joshi Detox: Day 7

So this is the end of week 1. It hasn't been easy but, you know what? It hasn't been that hard either. Psychologically, I think this is all about control. I am asserting control over something that the majority of people (myself included) feel powerless to manage. The body is a pretty logical, straightforward meat machine and there is no reason we can't vary the inputs and the amount of load/work (leave the output alone!). It is by sheer will that I set my code in motion.

Yesterday, since I skipped breakfast, I had a big lunch. Chicken and tofu stir fry at the cafeteria where I usually eat only salads. I broke passover a few hours early because I had to eat the big meal early and only a salad later on. The stir fry had brown rice and was a reasonably-sized portion.

I felt so full and bloated at the end of the meal. I really could have stopped halfway through and been satisfied. But I needed food in my belly in order to get through the rest of the day. A week out and already developing an aversion to starchy foods. It's like the inverse of being on the Survivor island.

At dinnertime I made myself a nice salad with field greens, carrots, celery, broccoli, and a hint of fresh rosemary.

Current Weight: 182lbs
Composition: Partly Nacho

Today's food plan:
Scrambled eggs with spinach and a touch of rice milk for breakfast.
Salad for lunch.
Grilled chicken breast with brown rice for dinner.
Water and Green Tea to drink.

Things I miss:
Hot Sauce

Song of the day:
Phil Collins - In the Air Tonight

Joshi Detox: Day 6

Today I noticed a subtle improvement in my health. I cut my fingernails and they are much stronger and less brittle than they used to be. Can you take a clipped fingernail and bend it so that it curves backward? I can!

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Gil you must get out there and begin fighting crime immediately!". But alas, I am still vulnerable to papercuts, so not quite ready for superhero prime time.

Yesterday's eating was pretty unremarkable, apart from the fact that I'm less and less hungry for dinner these days. I pretty much had to force myself to cook something small at 8:30. Late dinner, bad! I put too much black bean sauce in the stir fry and it came out way too salty.

I promised I'd discuss supplements today, but I only had time to research Chromium. Joshi's book recommends taking Chromium supplements as a weight loss aid. This is the kind of stuff that makes me shit all over holistic medicine.

According to Ask the Dietician, it is known that when Chromium is lacking, the effectiveness of insulin is lessened and you get an impaired tolerance to glucose. The only people with Chromium deficiencies are those that rely on intravenous fluids for all of their nutrition for a long time. Drawing the conclusion that taking extra Chromium supplments would have any effect on metabolism is a fallacy. Not only is there no proof that it does something good, but there is, in fact, evidence that taking excess amounts of Chromium can lead to kidney and liver damage.

Today's food plan:
Skipped breakfast, big no-no!
Chicken and tofu stir fry for lunch.
Salad for dinner.
Water and Green Tea to drink.

Things I miss:
Mozzerella cheese

Song of the day:
Blur - Girls and Boys

Joshi Detox: Day 5

Yesterday I did the detox drink. It really wasn't bad at all in terms of taste. The ingredients are: 300ml of grapefruit juice, 200ml of water, juice from some garlic and ginger, and 2tsp olive oil. Getting juice out of garlic and ginger is pretty damn hard if you don't have a press. I just minced it all up and then squeezed between two spoons, and then dropping all the pieces into the measuring cup. After adding some olive oil and stirring vigorously (recipe calls for a blender but what can ya do?), I poured it into a tall glass and drank, sifting out the chunks.

After you drink this concoction, you are supposed to follow it up with 2 cups of herbal tea (I had only 1), and do some deep breathing followed by 2 hours of lying down and relaxing. Well, I didn't quite do things in the right order, but after the deep breathing I was definitely relaxed. I think garlic has some natural anesthetic qualities that enhance the effect of slow, controlled breaths. In and out, 20 times. Net effect? Lots of healthy-lookin' pee, that's about it.

A few hours prior to the detox drink, I had a nice brunch of an omelet, some fresh broccoli, and some matzah. Matzah is technically forbidden but I cheated a little. The onions got a little overbrowned (translation: burnt), but it was still a damn tasty omelet and the rosemary chicken, which was left over from a few days ago, was even tastier now.

After the detox drink, I wasn't hungry for a long time. But around 8 o'clock I figured I should eat something, so I whipped up a quick stir fry of the leftover mahi mahi and some frozen veggies from Trader Joe's. It was aight, but the texture of the fish was kind of chewy. I think either that's what happens when you overcook it, or that's how it's supposed to be. I'm not too crazy about fish and have to get used to incorporating it in my diet.

Tomorrow I'll discuss some of the supplements that Joshi recommends you take during the 21 day detox.

Today's food plan:
Plain yogurt with honey and banana for breakfast.
Carrot and celery sticks to snack on.
Chicken stir fry for dinner.
Water and Green Tea to drink.

Things I miss:
Giant grilled hot dog on a toasted egg bun, slathered with ketchup.

Song of the day:
The Turtles - So Happy Together

Joshi Detox: Day 4

Yesterday was my first social outing on Joshi. I went to see Grindhouse with a pal, and had to refuse popcorn. Refuse popcorn! Anyway that was comparatively easy since there was a movie to watch. I don't know what I'll do when I inevitably end up at a bar in the next 17 days.

Vegas will also be extremely difficult. I'm going for a day and a half to attend the NAB (National Association of Broadcasters) conference. I wouldn't stand a chance at the buffets.

Last night's dinner was okay. The edamame was delicious but I guess I didn't strain the spinach properly 'cause it tasted mostly like barfy water. The mahi mahi came in its own marinade and spices, so it came out pretty good. I have a second cooked fillet in the fridge and I'm not sure what I'll do with it. Maybe something crazy like shred it and throw into a stir fry.

Today I'm doing the first "liver flush", which is a weekly drink the book instructs you to make. I'll tell you the ingredients tomorrow, but there is no eye of newt or toe of frog.

I'm counting the days (3) until Passover is, well, over, and I can expand my foodiverse to include brown rice and gluten-free muesli.

I found a gray hair when I woke up. Shit. I've also lost a pound. If anyone happens to find it, too bad for you!

Today's food plan:
Omelet with garlic, onion, and some chicken leftovers for brunch.
Some sunflower seeds to snack.
Mahi Mahi stir fry with veggies for dinner.
Water, detox cocktail, and Green Tea to drink.

Things I miss:
Fresh giant strawberries from the Sunday farmer's market

Song of the day:
Nina Simone - Ain't Got No (I Got Life)

Joshi Detox: Day 3

So far, so good. My sleep has gotten much more regular, and it's easier to fall asleep than it used to be. This morning I had to wake up to go to work, but, being a Saturday, my alarm wasn't set to go off. Nevertheless, I woke up at 7:42 and was very alert. No need for snoozing.

I ordered a pull-up bar and skipping rope from Amazon. They're both very cheap and will allow me to work out at home. I need to excercise more, because although I wake up alert, I still feel a little low in energy. Must be my body doing anything it can to avoid using up that lovely fat it has stored up. Don't worry, body, plenty more where that came from!

Dinner last night was pretty tasty, I used the bamboo steamer for the first time to heat up some frozen veggies. I need more practice with this method of cooking. I took the veggies out the first time and they were still frozen on the inside, and then I left them in too long and they came out all mushy. The lemon rosemary chicken breast smelled amazing and tasted good too.

Since the cafeteria is closed today, I had to bring my own lunch. I packed a box full of carrot and celery sticks, and made a salad with some leftover chicken. Delish! For dinner I'm making baked mahi mahi with edamame and spinach as sides.

Today's food plan:
Banana for breakfast, salad for lunch, carrot and celery sticks to snack, and mahi mahi with edamame and spinach for dinner.
Water and Green Tea to drink.

Things I miss:
Mashed potatoes

Song of the day:
When in Rome - The Promise (gave me goosebumps for some reason)

Joshi Detox: Day 2

Yesterday's eating went pretty much according to plan. I only strayed by eating one piece of matza with hummus. Hummus is okay, matza is technically not.

I also went grocery shopping to pick up a variety of things that the detox demands. Other than the obvious (tons of veggies), I got plain yogurt, rice milk, green tea, frozen mahi mahi fillets, sunflower seeds, wasabi crunchy peas, brown rice, and grapefruit juice. The juice is a required ingredient of a liver detox drink that the book recommends you drink once every week in order to aid the process. More on that tomorrow, when I actually make this drink.

For breakfast, I had hot water with lemon and yogurt mixed with some honey and banana. The hot water with lemon I'm supposed to drink every morning, so that will be assumed from now on and I won't bother mentioning it. The yogurt, what can I say? Plain yogurt almost makes me yak. But the bananas made it more palatable.

Yesterday I also researched sprouting. Sprouting is the practice of growing your own alfalfa and other sprouts at home. There are trays you can buy that grow a batch of sprouts in 3 days and there is no soil involved, all you have to do is change the water every day and you have a steady supply of very nutritious sprouts. It's very cheap, too. The growing trays vary in price from $15 to $150. I might get one towards the end of the detox if I really feel that I'll use it consistently. A large supply of seeds is about $7, so considering that a box of alfalfa sprouts at whole foods will set you back about $4, it ends up being worth it if you consume a lot of sprouts. They are tasty on salads, so we'll see. These trays are also used for growing wheatgrass, which has mythical restorative powers. You don't even need to eat wheatgrass, just being in the same room will bestow you with health and vitality. Just kidding, you pretty much have to eat it to look pretty, toots.

Today's food plan:
Yogurt with honey and banana for breakfast, salad for lunch, grilled chicken breast with steamed veggies for dinner.
Water and Green Tea to drink.

Things I miss:
Noodles

Song of the day:
Kiss - Prince (will perform the shit out of it at kareoke tomorrow night)

Joshi Detox: Day 1

Inspired by DanK's success with the 21 day detox diet, I picked up the book and read half of it on the plane ride back to L.A. Not surprisingly, many of the justifications the author uses in the book are complete nonsense. The declared purpose of this diet, according to the author, is to restore the body's pH from acidic to slightly alkaline. To that end, he lists a whole lot of foods that you can't eat during the 21 day diet, and some of them are pretty surprising like peppers and mushrooms. You can read more about alkaline diets here, although to be honest I'm not going to bother.

I see this as a low-carb diet in disguise. Joshi says not to drink orange juice because it's acid, but to drink water with lemon because in some convoluted way he thinks lemon is alkaline. The way I see it, OJ is full of sugar and people tend to drink it in large quantities, whereas lemon doesn't and is consumed in small quantities. Many of the no-no's on Joshi's list are simply foods that are high in carbs. Chicken, fish, and vegetables are the key staples of the detox diet and are all coincidentally low fat, low carb foods.

So, despite being dubious on Joshi's "Joshtifications", I am still going to follow his diet plan very closely because I have no doubt that it will lead to weight loss and improved health.

This is officially day 1, although yesterday was kind of a diet warm up day in which I ate salad and stir fry. I am starting during passover on purpose, since it'll get me through the first week more easily knowing I can't eat breads anyway.

Initial Weight: 185lbs
Composition: Mostly Nacho

Today's food plan:
Small yogurt for breakfast, salad for lunch, stir fry leftovers for dinner.
Water and Green Tea to drink.

Things I miss already:
Pizza, Chips, Booze.

Song of the day:
Rock You Like a Hurricane

Wandering in the Desert

It's been almost a year now. For almost a year now I've gone without the water of my life: my family, my friends. But I was lucky enough to find an oasis. She was family and friend to me and it's been the best year of my life because of her. But I can't stay in the oasis forever. Time to move along. It's only been a day and I'm thirsty.

Status Update: Bridge On The Balcony Kwai

As you can see, there has been no actual progress on the bridge project. I think the lesson here is that one of the defining differences between software engineers and real engineers is that the software variety are incredibly lazy.

I'm not much on production, although sometimes I relish it. What I do enjoy is coming up with a thousand random ideas, waiting on my ass, and then sending everyone links when some random thing I thought of years ago comes to fruition through someone else's work. See: The Pizza Vending Machine. No, I didn't think of this specifically, but I've always told people about my idea for a fresh pasta vending machine. This vending machine took 6 million dollars and 3 years of R&D to bring to market. Sometimes letting someone else do it is the best idea.

Is A Software Engineer An Engineer?

I was just filling out an introspective questionnaire in preparation for some team building thing at work and I got to thinking, am I really an engineer? Does being a software engineer endow me with the skills to do any engineering task, given enough time and research material?

To try to answer these questions, I am going to start a pet project to test my engineering potential. I am going to build a bridge from one end of my balcony to the other. It's about 4ft across and I don't even know enough about this subject to say what the tolerance for load should be. I still think it's an interesting challenge because it's so different from anything I've ever had to do (except maybe with popsicle sticks in middle school).

Perhaps this is the beginning of a series of challenges, to be followed in the future by "Is a software engineer a doctor?" and "Is a software engineer a mechanic?" and so on... Can the methods and approaches of analysis and deconstruction lead to (at least moderate) success in any field?

Would anyone from other fields care to try the same experiment? Wouldn't it be nice if we could all do anything?

V-Day + 1

So it was pointed out to me that I've been extremely lax in my maintenance of this blog. I already missed writing about all sorts of mildly interesting events like my visit to Toronto and San Francisco. Pics from San Fran are here in case you missed 'em. You need to sift through them though because I didn't bother filtering out the boring ones.

Last night we had a pretty laid back valentines. Natalie dressed up like a rose and we went to Macaroni Grill before seeing Music & Lyrics, the new Grant-Barrymore masterpiece.

For starters, dinner was interesting. We had a pre-dinner drink at the bar where the frazzled bartender referred to both of us as "ladies" and asked if we wanted anything else. I forgave him the slight against my honor and still tipped generously because one of the drinks was of the sugary-sticky type and I know how much bartenders hate to make those.

When we finally sat down, we found out our server was out of his mind. He offered to play a game with us, allowing each of us 4 questions and the opportunity to guess his age. The only hint was that he is a single father of 3 kids. The reward: free dessert. Needless to say I was both onto his scam (he'd just say it was someone's birthday to score the free cake) and that I was very much on board for the challenge.

The meal progressed and we grew fat with anticipation for the big reveal. We each wrote down our guesses. I said 38 and Nat wrote down 28 (which was actually a number my gut pointed to but I ignored). We had a side bet going about whose guess would be closer, but that's a private matter. The waiter is 37, and his birthday is in April, so I was damn close. Win or lose, we still got our free cake with ice cream and even free coffee. It was such a treat getting a $25 bill for such a thorough meal that I ended up tipping him handsomely too. Besides, like Benny the cab drive from Total Recall, this guy has 3 kids to feed!

We somehow stumbled our way over to the movie theater to catch the flick. If Natalie had written this movie I would have criticized it for not having much of a conflict or satisfying adversity for the characters to overcome. Shows what I know, this movie got made and will probably do just fine in the box office.

Some notable lines:

"You have to see my roof, it's upstairs!"
and
"Why are your pants so tight?" "They force all the blood to my heart"

The movie is also full of welcome digs at 80's pop sensations, complete with an opening music video that mashes up my memories of A-Ha, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, and others.

There is one scene that was so poorly shot and edited that I couldn't even pay attention to what was happening. It was a simple conversation in a coffee shop, and Drew's character was sipping on a cup of iced tea. Simple enough, right? Well apparently not! Every cut would have the cup magically change. Sometimes you would see the logo, sometimes there was no logo. Sometimes Drew's character would pick up the cup, the camera would cut to the other angle, and the cup would be on the table again. It quietly drove me nuts that movie makers have so little respect for their trade that they would let big gaffes like this go just because they're too lazy to reshoot an effin' coffee shop conversation. It's not like they'd have to re-sink the Titanic!

It Found Me!

It didn't take long for the bitter Canadian weatherbeast to track me down like the helpless bunny that I've become. They say California makes you soft (especially around the middle), and I am totally prepared for the snow in the forecast thanks to my layers of protective blubber.

Unlike most idiots, I am not making the hypermetropic mistake of worrying about cholesterol killing me in 50 years, while ignoring the near-term threat of ice ages. I need to carb up before Al Gore Global Warming shuts down the Atlantic current and strands us all in frozen-over hell-a.

I've done some research, and realized that the US government is in fact on the right track to save us all from the impending catastrophe. How, you ask? Well, when the time comes, our military might will be redirected towards bombing the earth back into working order, as evidenced in the classic educational film, The Core.

Word of the Day: hypermetropic

Twenty Questions

Last night I went to an Italian eatery a block from my apartment with Nat. We were celebrating our 7 month anniversary and were enjoying a tasty bottle of wine from Napa Valley when I suggested playing 20 questions to guess what she got me for my birthday. Since she got me two different things, it would be a double challenge to try to guess them both within the 20 question limit.

It went like this:

Question 1: "Is it electronic?"
Answer: No

Question 2: "Is it clothing?"
Answer: Yes

Question 3: "Is it shoes?"
Answer: Yes

Question 4: "Is it a jacket?"
Answer: Yes